If you’ve landed here chances are you’re already convinced by the many reasons to date a Dutch guy. Now you have an upcoming date with a Dutchie and need dating advice on the do’s and don’ts? Being in a different country and culture other than your own can make the dating game a bit confusing at times. What is appropriate to say, wear, or do might be some of the few factors running through your head. It’s important to be conscious of cultural differences and mannerisms but the best dating advice alongside this is to be yourself. Authenticity is always key especially in the Netherlands, so if you’ve got that in tow and keep in mind the following advice when dating a Dutchie, you can sit back and relax for your upcoming date.
Punctuality is a big part of Dutch culture and a basic form of etiquette. When dating a Dutchie, especially on the first date, show up on time. Perhaps you like to build up the suspense, saunter into the room seductively and arrive in style. Take my advice and avoid being ‘fashionably late’ because most Dutch people will consider it quite rude. It leaves a bad impression and they may even leave after the first 15-30 minutes, especially if you don’t give a heads up. Universally, showing up late is not well liked and can be seen as a form of disrespect. The Dutch don’t see this as any different and in fact being tardy is considered bad manners.
Showing up Unannounced
The Dutch like to take out their calendars and make everything by appointment. Family weekends, dinners with friends and yes, even dates nights are typically planned out weeks in advance. If you happen to be in the neighborhood of the Dutchie you’re seeing and show up at their doorstep, don’t be upset if you’re not well received. The least you can do is send them a call or message beforehand of your arrival. Of course you may be warmly welcomed but if you are keen on surprise or spontaneous visits try to make an effort of telling them somewhat in advance. For instance, ask them, “How does a drink next Wednesday sound?”. A Dutchie will appreciate this because in the Netherlands it’s just not very common to show up unannounced, instead plan a specific time and date on your agenda.
Dressing like you’re attending a Banquet
The Dutch prefer casual attire and a lot of this has to do with the bike culture in the Netherlands. Wearing high heels and a cute top sounds nice but if it starts raining (and it most likely will) it won’t be the most practical outfit to bike in, plus you will show up even more disheveled. It’s one of the reasons you will see other people on dates dressed up casual and laid back. This doesn’t mean you can never dress up! It’s all about practicality because everyone is going around by bike. Keep in mind that wearing 4 inch heels might hold you back on a bike in the rain. Also, don’t get too upset if your date shows up in sneakers. Just remind yourself of the weather and bikes and eventually you will (hopefully) get used to it.
Avoid Talking about Yourself (Too Much)
I used to find this strange because dating is really about getting to know one another; having the other share and tell about oneself. Basically, try not to make the conversation all about yourself and act pretentious. The Dutch cannot stand this but honestly who wouldn’t? Bragging, acting macho or arrogant is a huge no no. This goes back to the culture in which being materialistic and flaunting off your possessions or wealth and really any sort of attention seeking is seriously frowned upon. So try to keep this important aspect in mind when dating a Dutchie.
Playing Unnecessary Games
Acting hard to get and playing games is not really perceived as ‘cute’ or at least not for the long run. The Dutch are direct people that don’t beat around the bush and get straight to the point.It might seem a bit crass to other internationals but it’s essentially one of the norms of Dutch culture. If you’re responding to messages every few hours or have them waiting around a Dutch person will most likely address you about it. Don’t think that they are trying to purposely offensive, it’s just meaning what you say. When dating a Dutchie keep things as straightforward as you can.
Asking them to be a Tourist with you
This is totally different from being a tour guide which I’m sure your dutchie would love to be! Showing you around their hometown, place of residence and all the cool spots will make them feel quite proud. What I mean is don’t be an annoying tourist when dating a Dutchie, and ask them to do all the cheesy things like taking pictures wearing oversized clogs or consuming weed in a coffee shop. It might sound a bit harsh but the truth is that there is more to the Netherlands than Amsterdam and if you ask for them to accompany you to one of these places, don’t be offended by their honest response towards this!