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How to Cool Down after an Argument with a Loved One
  • Love & Dating

How to Cool Down After an Argument with a Loved One

  • 3 minute read
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Things get a bit heated between you and your significant other? It could be the first argument, over something petty or the same one you’ve heard time and time again. You are two different people with differing opinions so that’s quite understandable. Whether it’s a big or small fight conflict is just sometimes unavoidable and a part of any relationship. In the heat of the moment you may feel angry, triggered, overwhelmed and too anxious to be around one another. Instead of giving each other the cold shoulder or escalating the situation here are a few tips on how to cool down after an argument with a loved one. 

Just Breathe it Out 

After an argument it’s not just your mood that changes but your body gets affected too. Your heart rate increases, blood pressure goes up and the hormone from the pituitary gland cortisol is released so you are inclined to feel more stress. Basically, your body goes into a defense mechanism of fight or flight mode so it’s best to take a few deep breaths, count to ten and chill out. 

Get Some Fresh Air

Go outside and get some air. Get close to nature, it can help alleviate stress and center your mind and body from the tension. Try a natural green space like the forest to calm that frazzled mind.

Music is Good Therapy

When you’re feeling particularly fired up music is a great go to. Belt your heart out to a song that conveys how you feel. Crank on the tearjerkers or listen to something uplifting or soothing. Music is great therapy for when you’re feeling down in the dumps.

Write or Journal it Out

Emotions are running high and perhaps it’s too soon to have a chat with one another. Writing is a healthy way of gathering your thoughts, writing about how you feel and reflecting on the situation. It’s a great way of processing how you feel. 

Tidy Up or Clean 

Might sound a bit strange but trust me, something about vigorously wiping a window and scrubbing the dirt away really relieves some stress. Seeing everything clean and spotless can actually be quite therapeutic.

Cook Something

Maybe you don’t have much of an appetite but cooking is another great creative outlet. In these moments I like to test my culinary skills instead of buying a tub of ice cream. Why not try out a new recipe or make that tiramisu mousse you’ve been putting on hold for the past few months. 

Go For a Drive

A great way to clear your mind. Blast the music, hit the road and let your worries go free. Night drives around the city are my favorite especially when I’m feeling a bit down. 

Exercise & Workout

Physical activity is a great thing to do because when feeling stress and anxiety your body tends to tighten up and build up all that tension. Hit the gym, go for a run or box a bit. Lifting weights or HIIT is a great way to channel that pent up anger and energy.

Talk it Out

When you’re clear, calm and collected and ready, sit down with your loved one and talk it out. Discuss how you feel with one another, listen intently and take responsibility for your words and actions. The key here is open communication and to attack the actual issue, not each other. 

Say Sorry & Let it Go

Fighting over the dishes or taking out the trash is mediocre but in truth, can be a natural part of relationships. You have to make a choice on whether this is something to stay upset over and not let it overpower you. Remember to always pick and choose your battles wisely. Apologize and let it go but only if you sincerely mean it. 

Now you both can come back with a much more calm state of mind and handle the situation in a healthy way together.

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Hannah Scott

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18 comments
  1. Morgan says:
    August 21, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    I always write. It’s the best way for me to “yell” on paper. I’m very explosive with my feelings, and most folks I argue with are implosive so it kinda helps me not start a whole huge thing.

    Reply
  2. Luna S says:
    August 21, 2020 at 7:32 pm

    Fantastic post! These are all very helpful tips.

    Reply
  3. Mary says:
    August 21, 2020 at 8:21 pm

    All these tips are awesome, you couldn’t have given better ways to dealing with this type of situation. It is so relevant because we all have arguments with our loved ones, every now and then.

    Reply
  4. Sienna says:
    August 22, 2020 at 12:58 am

    What a great article! I was so angry today and just had to breathe and step away and let it go. I was in the car so nothing to clean- but cleaning DOES help too!

    Reply
  5. Jasmine E. says:
    August 22, 2020 at 6:01 pm

    Fresh air always helps me calm down after an argument with my husband. It gives me a new perspective!

    Reply
  6. Michele says:
    August 23, 2020 at 5:35 am

    These are really good tips. I always end up journaling about it and sometimes blog about it. I like to make it a teachable moment.

    Reply
  7. Nkem says:
    August 23, 2020 at 8:38 am

    Nice ones. I always find it a good idea for one to determine their love language and their apology language and then share those with their partner. These tend to get to the root of communication styles, at least a bit.

    Reply
  8. Anne says:
    August 23, 2020 at 11:09 am

    Totally agree with your list, I’m glad that my husband and I rarely have an argument. But whenever we have one, as much as possible we talk about it and move on after a couple of hours.

    Reply
  9. Czardilyn Buyawe says:
    August 23, 2020 at 1:58 pm

    These tips are really helpful. For a healthy relationship with other people let us practice this tips. 🙂

    Reply
  10. Ann Yaa says:
    August 23, 2020 at 2:03 pm

    Oh, this hits right on the spot! My best picks are driving with music and see some greens to cool it off. Those days I don’t want to talk to my other half and do these things helps me in calming myself.

    Reply
  11. Lily says:
    August 23, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    Great tips, it’s definitely not healthy nor helpful to stay heated for long.

    Reply
  12. Maysz says:
    August 24, 2020 at 12:42 am

    I have argument but these tips would help on how to cool down after an argument with your loved one. Well I’m on heart break stage so I think these tips would work for others 🙂

    Reply
  13. Agnes says:
    August 24, 2020 at 9:06 am

    I go to bed and sleep it off. I will cry myself up if I am going to write my feelings and I will feel more vulnerable. I hate arguing with loved ones.

    Reply
  14. Alyssa says:
    August 24, 2020 at 12:52 pm

    A fight can weaken your relationship, or it can strengthen it — and its impact depends on how you behave afterward. The aftermath of an argument can be tense, but the fact that you just fought doesn’t mean you have to behave coldly or unkindly. Thanks for these tips!

    Reply
  15. Stella says:
    August 24, 2020 at 2:36 pm

    These are great tips. It is so important to step out and change your focus for a while. Journal or workout or go for a drive. We sometimes only need a short while to calm down, but I am guilty of not taking that time soon enough in an argument. I love it that you added to talk it out and apologize once you calm down. I think this is an important set as just moving on without talking it through can build up resentment and is bound to explode. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  16. Gary and Michelle says:
    September 9, 2020 at 3:45 pm

    This is a good read for anyone!

    Reply
  17. Gursimrat Thind says:
    September 9, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    These are great tips to col down after arguments. Most of the time, we feel bad and guilty after heated arguments. I am sure your tips will help in getting normal. Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  18. Beth Elkassih says:
    September 10, 2020 at 4:17 am

    I sooooo needed to read this today! As 2 days ago, my laptop was stolen and of course, in my husband’s eyes.. it was all my fault! Great tips!

    Reply

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